I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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