Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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