I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
