So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
