playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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