You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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