I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
