Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
