Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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