Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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