I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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