We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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