Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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