the condom got lost in my hair
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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