brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
