she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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