You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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