ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
