it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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