A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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