I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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