I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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