cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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