you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
