I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
