i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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