Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
