I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
