The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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