I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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