There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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