Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
