Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
