My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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