I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
