did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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