I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
