So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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