Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
His nipple licking is glorious
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