You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
