i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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