its not stalking. its research.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
