So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
