Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
