Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
