Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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