i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
