i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
