everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
