Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;

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(630): View more from Illinois

which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

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(585): View more from New York

that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag

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(503): View more from Oregon

ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.

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(303): View more from Colorado

When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?

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(415): View more from California

A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter

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